Finding a “Peace Zone” During Challenging Times
It is not always possible to avoid stressful situations. There are times when we feel vulnerable from having to handle multiple situations or particularly difficult ones, and when we feel like we don’t have control over our circumstances. During these times, one way for us to maintain balance and clarity is to find a peaceful zone where we can feel safe to deal with our thoughts, emotions, and our internal and external struggles.
Unresolved stressful situations can generate toxic thoughts and emotions, causing our sympathetic nervous systems* to stay upregulated. Consequently, we become defensive ready to fight, flight, or freeze. Our sympathetic nervous systems are design for us to help us survive life-threatening circumstances. Our brilliant bodies know exactly how to keep us safe. When we have to escape from a speeding car while we are crossing the street, our endocrine system releases chemicals, slowing down digestion, accelerating heart rate, raising blood pressure, and pumping blood into our extremities. Common reasons for our daily dose of stress are daily news, traffic on the way to work, competitive environment in schools and workplaces, financial responsibilities, and chronic health challenges. In addition, many of us constantly worry about our nation, the world, and the environment.
Handling stress in our daily lives requires a peaceful mind and internal strength, rather than mobilizing our physiological systems to be in the constant state of alert. Stress can be useful (and in some cases crucial) if it is only for specific events. Otherwise, stress becomes destructive when we allow it become chronic: low grade, undetected, and ignored. This kind of stress is one of biggest contributors to most health problems, especially health problems that are the most difficult to resolve using conventional medicine. It is important to develop, practice, and evoke coping strategies to deal with stressful situations. Last thing we want is for stress to get unmanageable making us sick or taking away the joy of living and appreciating our human existence.
While we all need to develop our own coping skills, there are some proven ways that work for most of us. Then when life brings unexpected hardship we know that we have tools that we need to help us get through the difficult times.
Coping skills to finding your Peace Zone:
Noticing, observing, and acknowledging our thoughts and emotions gives us an opportunity to become aware of our circumstances and how they are affecting us. It is a good idea to write down our thoughts and emotions rather than only keeping them circulating in our heads and hearts. To look at what we have reveled on a piece of paper without attachment or judgment. A popular practice called journaling is worth giving a try, especially if we have a tough time seeing things clearly and objectively.
Setting boundaries is a skill that many of us resist to develop. Boundaries are essential to limiting our exposure to stress that we already know affecting us in a negative way. Boundaries can be applied to things like: keeping up with daily news and staying informed without getting caught up with the drama, saying “no” to relationships that drain our energy, being realistic with our “to do lists”, and restricting our time spent with technology and social media.
Getting physical in a form of any activity will allow our bodies to burn some of the negative energy our minds create. Getting the heart rate up and sweating is a great way to free ourselves from physical and emotional toxins stored in our tissues. We can take a fitness class or go to the gym, but we can also clean the house, do yard work, take a hike, or dance our way out of tension, misery, and distress. By stimulating our muscles, connective tissues, and bones in a healthy way, we bring clarity and calmness into our minds and more balance into our life’s circumstances.
Making time to cultivate passion and connecting to what we truly love doing is a great way to take a break from what has been disturbing our peace. Developing our passion helps us to see ourselves capable of doing something unique and inspiring, and to express ourselves in a creative way. By cultivating our passion we build confidence to face difficulties in other areas of our lives. Perhaps we have always wanted to learn Salsa dancing, study another language, take a drawing class, climb the mountains, or pursue other sports or activities that have been intriguing us – now it is time to do it! Simply, for the sake of finding relief from challenges in our lives.
Slowing down the breath can dramatically change how we react to stressful situations. The breath is a powerful tool that we all have 24/7. Breathing is part of the autonomic nervous system which means it happens automatically whether we think about it or not. However, we have the ability to influence our breathing patterns. By slowing down our breathing we can calm our nervous systems and control our emotions and our reactions. Since we typically take 15-18 breaths per minute, bringing the breath to a slower pace such as 5-7 breaths per minute has a calming effect on the autonomic nervous system, and helps with managing stress and anxiety.
Meditating, praying, and trusting a higher power can make a big difference in how we approach and respond to situations we have very little control over. These spiritual practices are proven to be effective in healing from trauma and helping people to find peace and strength during the most difficult situations by bringing the sense of hope, compassion, and gratitude into our lives. Spirituality provokes self-reflection which helps us to see the big picture and the fact that everything is temporary: the very moment, every experience, and what we are currently going through.
Practicing gratitude might not seem easy when we feel as if we were drowning in the sea of toxic thoughts and conflicted emotions, but gratitude is often exactly what we need to stop growing and start swimming. There are always good things in our lives. We simply need to choose to see and appreciate them. According to a study conducted after the terrorist attack on September 11, gratitude was a major contributor to building resilience and overcoming trauma. Practicing gratitude brings us into the present moment without dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. During challenging times, I make sure to look to the west when I drive to work and notice the power of Rocky Mountains; they are always there reminding me to be grateful for many things that I have in my life.
Finding our life’s purpose can help us find strength to get thorough the most difficult circumstances. Dr.Victor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Nazi’s death camp survivor, describes his personal experience and his observation of other prisoners in his book Man’s Search for Meaning. Dr. Frankl demonstrates how to cope with suffering in a meaningful way and stay connected to your true purpose. Finding a life purpose leads to personal growth while also reducing the side effects of stress. It brings clarity to what really matters in our lives.
Reaching out to people we trust and allowing them to hear our struggles and see our vulnerability offers relief, and gives us an opportunity to make strong and valuable relationships. We all need support from others and it is OK to ask for help, let the emotions out, and share our pain with others. Sometimes we need to verbalize what circulates in our minds and causes pain in our hearts. We need someone to listen with compassion so we can move on and start healing with clarity and strength. Authentic social interactions are crucial for our health and wellbeing. During challenging times, our friendships can save us from becoming chronically ill. There is always someone ready to listen: a friend, relative, community member, group leader, or a medical professional whom we can trust to reveal our concerns.
There are many reasons why life is full of challenges. I believe, there is a deeper meaning underneath suffering and we are being challenged to discover this meaning. We are here to grow and contribute to the world. Life’s difficulties help us to achieve that. Through our challenges we build resilience, acquire wisdom, and access humility - the qualities worth striving for even if this means to experience pain and face internal and external struggles.
Resources:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25428846
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044464
https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl-ebook/dp/B009U9S6FI
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11292274
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3150158/
Author’s note: The information in this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It should not be considered as medical advice or a substitute for professional medical opinions, diagnoses, or treatment. Always consult your medical practitioner regarding a medical condition and before changing your diet, supplements, fitness, or other health programs.